- December 31st, 2012
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You won’t find me at a party or on a dance floor at the last day of the year, counting down seconds with strangers for the upcoming year. You will probably find me at home. With my basketball shorts and white tee on, and a bunch of torrents running on my computer so I can finish my download limit round for the month with complete optimization. Also, there is a glass of cold milk with a tray of cookies to my disposal. I have a few unread text messages that are in no rush to read. To me, I would like to say it is just another day. But in reality, it is not. No matter how stubborn you are in the beliefs of December 31st of a year not being an important day and it being just another day, this is one day that no matter what you are doing, you are forced to rush through a bunch of memory reels of this past year. You could even be stubborn enough to say that this thought did not come to me at all, until you come around your other friends who are bragging about what an amazing year they have had. And by all means, ‘amazing’ has always been defined by perspective. So, to each its own.
New Year’s is not something you celebrate. It is something that popular culture has created for you to think it is worth celebrating. What are you celebrating anyways? For me, I am celebrating family, friends, health, success and goals. I don’t need to be at a party to do that. I have all that right at the comfort of my home. But what I do realize is, this critic inside me had made me analyze all the mistakes I have done in the past year to make them better in the new one. I have also realized all the money and time I have wasted, and I do regret the time being wasted part. But the money part…I am happy what I spend on. Insert “Money comes, money goes” caption to feel better. I have also realized that as a human, I have created so many damn memories that I am starting to forget my other years, and according to me, that is an accomplishment. I mean at times, I would always look at the end of the year and pray that the next year would be better than this year or sometimes have an intuition that the next year is going to be horrible before it has even started. I mean, 2007 and 2008 had been really horrible years for me. 2009 showed some hope because there was some improvement. 2010 was another downhill one. But 2011, damn. That year, either I changed, or the times changed. But as a person, I felt I grew up. I felt progress. I felt achievement. I recognized myself. I once knew, exactly what I wanted. I was confident again. At the end of 2011, I felt that this year was such a ride, there is no way 2012 could match up to that. And to my disbelief, it did more than just match.
I don’t know what I can expect anything out of 2013 and neither do I want to go in with a bucket list of things in order to top my 2012. I usually take it one day at a time, and that recipe has worked more than fine for me in the past few years. But I do want to grow, I do want to progress, I do want to learn, I do want to fail and I do want to succeed. I hope not to cry, but I do plan to smile. I hope I don’t fall, but I do plan to jump. I hope to plan, but I don’t plan to hope. I don’t know what your resolutions are and neither do I know my own. If you respect time and health, you don’t need to make resolutions, everything else will fall into place. Also, pray once in a while for the life you have been blessed with. Sometimes if you take the time and look around you instead of straight ahead, this world is not as pretty as it seems.